I am already in Malta for 2 months right now. The transition is hard because I am not used being away from my family for such a long time. I have mixed emotions, happy because finally some of my dreams are coming true and sad because I miss my family. Somehow, I'm at peace with myself, it's just that I have no friends here, I found some but it's really hard to penetrate their group. They have known each other for such a long time and I cannot top that. They are all gregarious and I am not. They are into things which I am not. I wanted to explore Malta but I have no companions. Even the Maltese people from my office are somehow wary of me, I don't have that effect on people. I don't engage on animated conversations and I'm not a spontaneous person. I don't know how I can survive here but if I want to, I need to find friends I can really trust. I also need to change my attitude, be more joyful, gregarious and approachable. But how can I? I have been like this for 30 years now. It will be really hard for me to change. I hope I will find a good friend here, even 1 is enough. or just a love one, a person who will support me or just be there for me.
I don't know if I can change but I will try starting Monday. I will greet people and try to talk to them. I will be more joyful and just be myself. I should not be afraid to speak because otherwise I will defeat my purpose on going here and that is, to build my confidence and to develop my communication skills in english.
I hope I will find that someone here, someone to love. Even for a day. I don't need a long-time one, it's good only while it lasts and if it will last forever, then ok but if not, it's still alright.
I know I will find that someone..
