In memory of the Maguindanao Massacre

I was in the Phils. a year ago when the Maguindanao massacre had happened.  What I felt when I heard the news is anger and pity.  Anger for how some people had a callousness to kill others just to have power and money.  How killing is just like a common way of thinking for a fiilipino person who supposedly came from an only catholic country in Asia.  I heard from the news that hundreds participates on the killing.  Why it is so?  Evil will only become one if there is a follower.  Why did a lot of people follow a mastermind?  Are these people have no conscience?  Don't they believe in God, as their church teaches?  I have always wanted to probe to the killers mind.  What prompted them to do those things even though they knew it is evil?  Is it money, fear or just plain callousness?  So many questions but no answers.  Because at the end, whatever their reasons are, it does not justify what they have done.  It will not bring back the 56 people killed in the massacre.

I also felt pity for them.  Pity because they have no mind and heart, they are like robots who have no emotions.  Because I always believe that if only people will listen to their souls speak to them, no evil will walk on this earth.  No war will be fought.  No poverty will be experienced.  No blood will be shed and no innocence will be crumbled just for an ambition of one.  If only people will... But alas, some people just listen to others and not to themselves.  They listen to false promises of good life, material things and love of power.  Power will bring money and they wanted an ounce of it too.  But what they don't understand is that with power comes great responsibility.  Not to oneself but to others.  Not to evil but to good.

I felt pity for them because in the end, they will answer to their conscience.  And sometimes, when you hear the truth, it will devastate you till the end.  I do hope that in the end, they will listen to this truth and they will speak the truth.  And tomorrow, justice will be served.

Sometimes

Sometimes, we wish to become someone other than who we really are.  I wish that now for myself.  Wishing that I could be strong, that I have confidence in dealing with people, that I am friendly and easy to be with, that I am charming, that I have money so that I can retire from my work and do things I really love to do, that I don't have a family whom I love but sometimes I am tired helping them, that sometimes I wish for that someone to love me or just even care for me.

I wish for a lot of things, but I knew that at the end, sometimes, wishes do come true and sometimes it's not.  I just wish that I could have the courage to stand up to people, to tell them who I really are and woudn't care about their feelings.  I wish all my problems at work will go away.  I wish that I could be a better person.  I wish that someone would notice me and at least for a day fall in love with me.  But then at the end, life is life.  Some other times, sometimes became definite.  Sometimes, it's blurry.

How I wish for that sometimes.